chrissymunder | Feb. 16th, 2011

Feb. 16th, 2011

Clare: Happy belated New Year! Welcome to the 2011 edition of The Clare and Chrissy Show. Our extra bit of fun on the side.

Chrissy: We hope everyone’s New Year started out less hectic than ours. I can’t seem to explain it; everything seemed to just explode quite messily this year, and the bubbles weren't nearly as pretty as these ones.

Clare: Well, I’m not much of a role model for anyone myself at the moment, as I’m still trying to keep my head above virtual water! But here’s hoping we’ll soon catch up with the rest of you, powering forward into 2011, once again on top of our lives, *crosses fingers* and ready for whatever adventures the rest of the year holds for us.

Chrissy: Wait, before we get started, where’s my confetti?

Clare: Notice the word ‘belated’ in the opening sentence, Chrissy. We don’t need confetti.

Chrissy: Bite your tongue. We always need confetti.

Clare: It did look festive tossed all over my Birthday Blog Month, didn’t it? *smirk*

Chrissy: Absolutely. And if our reading audience didn’t get a chance to visit Chez London for the extravaganza – just stop on by. I'm still reading through the offerings - thirty-one days of posts by guest bloggers, and free fiction - all served up with glittery stars.

Clare: Not that I really make resolutions, but I’m backing away from the glittery stars this year. I'm trying something new; something a little different, more mature. Maybe more edgy?

Chrissy: You go, woman. More website reorg, huh? *Sigh* Yeah, that’s on my list too. I may not make resolutions either, but I do try to start my year out with an extra bit of organization (hence the explosion of boxes piled up in front of the shredder). This year I managed to drag Clare along to keep me company. That’s why this month’s post is: Take a look in our drawers.

Clare: Drawers? Right. Um …?

Chrissy: Kitchen drawers, that is. Nothing more intimate than that, whatever you thought. Did you think I’d learned *nothing* over the last couple of years about the Great Brit-Yank Language Divide other than the fact you’ll stab me the next time I use the word ‘gotten’?

Clare: *wipes brow, no longer poised to flee the country* BTW, that’s not a word.

Chrissy: Moving on… unless you are one of those frightfully organized, a place for everything and everything in its place kind of people (in which case I bow before you), you might have one of these yourself.

Clare: Drawers, that is. One of those catch-all drawers that the kitchen designers set aside for knives or extra serving utensils, but we tend to toss in everything we can’t find a place for.

Chrissy: Scattered amongst the expired coupons, rolls of tape, half-used tubes of glue, extra wire ties, body piercing aftercare instructions, and three open tubes of hairball remover for The Tyrant (what? I’m still looking for the one where he’ll lick the goop right off the tube like the label swears) are fascinating glimpses of our lives and times past.

Clare: Be afraid. Be very afraid …

Chrissy: Here’s a question: if we practiced what we preached as authors of erotic romance, how many tubes of personal lubricant would we have scattered around the kitchen and buried in these very same drawers?

Clare: *LOL* We’re talking real life today, Chrissy. Not tropes. *Sniff * besides, isn’t that what olive oil is for? *wink* Extra virgin, of course.

Chrissy: Like archaeologists, we peered through the layers of strata and exposed these depths to the harsh light of day. About time too, I think the bottom of the drawer was starting to break.

Clare: But we don’t have space to detail everything that was in there. So, we’re picking the top five interesting items found in our kitchen drawers.

Chrissy: You can join us. Turn on some music, grab the family, pull that drawer out in your own kitchen, and prepare to be amazed.

Clare: *still nervous about the sanctity of her drawers* This gives family fun night a whole new meaning.

Chrissy: Pffffft.

Chrissy:: I started off rather simply with my collection of 3D magnetic butterflies being close to the surface. Every Spring I resurrect them from the drawer and place them on my windows, front door, and doorwall. It’s a two-person job to line them up correctly, as one half is set outside and the other is set inside. Then the magnets hold them together through the glass. I always know Spring has sprung when my colorful assortment of butterflies comes out to play.

Clare: That’s really charming. What I can offer in that category are candles. We always have a ready supply for anyone who needs them. Not the elegant, sweet-smelling church candles you might put on your mantel, but the ones with Happy Birthday on the top. Or Congratulations. Or ones that fart blue smoke, or magically won’t blow out *mwahaha*. See the shock on those impressionable children’s faces after they’ve run out of puff…

Chrissy: And here I had doubts when it came to *my* parenting skills…

Clare: Hey. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right?

Chrissy: My next find made me stop and say “awwwwwh”. It was my Laa-Laa keychain from back when the Teletubbies were big at our house. Clipped onto my purse, she was an easy distraction every time fractious behavior threatened when out in public. The sound effects took some work, but I bet I can still do them.

Clare: No. Really. It’s okay.

Chrissy: I think we still have some videos. They became our secret vice. We would come home after a hard day and pop one in. How can you beat a happy sun, green grass, flowers, and bunnies as a stress remover?

Clare: One word: Alcohol. But I’ve lived through a rather more aggressive upbringing with the Sons, who brought into our home Thomas the Tank Engine, Power Rangers, Yu-gi-Oh and Pokemon. Who am I kidding? They still love all that! Witness a little further back in the drawer, where I found several Lego characters from Star Wars, all missing heads, a Red Power Ranger with only one leg, and a slightly creased Blue-Eyes White Dragon trading card. Happy Days :).

Chrissy: Where do those heads go?

Clare: Truly, a question for the ages.

Chrissy: Directly behind Laa-Laa, I discovered a plastic model Sea-Doo Bombardier Jet Ski, complete with working water jets.

Clare: Let me guess, you tried it out.

Chrissy: Of course! Filled up the tub and away we went. The Tyrant loved it. This gem was from back in the day when one of the kids swore up and down they would die if we didn’t get them a Jet Ski for Christmas. Well, they got one. *cough* Just, not exactly to scale.

Clare: Nowadays they call that child abuse.

Chrissy: *mutters in sotto voice* Pot meet kettle. From one side of the argument, perhaps. At least we fended off their certain demise.

Clare: I don’t think I’m one to talk :). I sent both Sons on forced route marches with the Boy Scouts as soon as they showed any passing interest in camping. In the corner of my kitchen cupboard is a full set of billy-cans and … you guessed it … a spork!

Chrissy: Hahah, in the hands of our misguided youth those were definitely weapons of mass destruction.

Clare: Thankfully, no one sporked an eye out.

Chrissy: Leaving behind the question re: is that really a verb, I have no clue why this next treasure was in the drawer. How about an 8 track tape? A homemade mix tape to be exact, complete with tracks from Jethro Tull, Ted Nugent’s Wango Tango, Eric Winter’s Frankenstein, and Uriah Heep to name a few of the classics.

Clare: I have no words.

Chrissy: Pretty cool, huh?

Clare: No. Seriously. I mean, how can that nostalgia compete with the wallet I just found at the *very* back of the drawer with a selection of paper souvenirs from the trip Hubby and I made to Florence in 1999, including all the entrance tickets to the museums, receipts for our meals, and the outrageously-uncomfortable, narrow-toed, high-heeled shoes I bought. Oh, and some postcards of the superb and adorable Donatello’s David. I sat for an hour in front of it, Hubby had to drag me away for sustenance. Of a different nature that is. *sigh for love of a statue*.

Chrissy:: Out of all that, all I can think about is how we need to do a shoe post one day.

Clare: We do know what’s important, don’t we?

Chrissy: Things took a more serious turn with my final find of the day. Years ago we made a cassette tape of my maternal grandmother talking about her life in the rural South. It’s fascinating to listen to her speak about growing up as a multi-racial sharecropper’s daughter. She was one of twenty-seven children, had five stepmothers, and when she passed, still lived on her husband’s original family homestead first settled back in the 1800s.

Clare: That’s fantastic. Why in the world would you have that in your junk drawer?

Chrissy: This is just a copy. But it has more to do with the fact I burst into tears every time I hear her voice than anything else.

Clare: *pets and hands over tissue* But I may join you at the hanky dispenser. I found a battered old box with a silver christening spoon in it. Maybe it was the 16 year old Son’s, or even the 21 year old’s. Yet I’m both afraid and moved at the same time to think it may be *mine*. Our house was my grandmother’s originally. It was never a treasure trove of antiques, but the memories and occasional items of family tradition that we come across are worth more than that, of course.

Chrissy: *blows* Yep, now we’re both tearing up. I admit, I thought this would be a fun and rather silly post when we started, but look where we ended up. I feel we’ve taken quite an unexpected and emotional journey. I may even have grown as a person.

Clare: *coughs* Down girl. Let’s not get carried away. But like all things, this is merely another example of our lives imitating our work. We may start out with the simplest of directions for our writing, but where we end up is always a surprise.

Clare and Chrissy: That was our five most interesting items found in our kitchen junk drawers, what have you found in yours? Do you think Chrissy needs to work on her sadistic streak when it comes to gifts? Will Yo-Gabba-Gabba Dance Club really replace the Teletubbies for stress relief? Should Clare stop tormenting the Sons, and abandon her helpless love of a certain bronze? And, honestly, where do all the heads go?

Let us know what you think! Everyone who comments to this post will be entered in our random drawing with the lucky winner receiving their choice of either a Clare or Chrissy free eBook download from our mutual backlist. Winner to be announced in our next, monthly post.